Readings
Acts 10:44-48
Psalm 98
1 John 5:1-6
John 15:9-17
In today’s Gospel we once again hear the call to love one another. At first reading it almost seems like a repeat of last week’s epistle reading. And because of that I was tempted, for a short time, to repeat last week’s sermon. But then I read closer and noticed something worthy of our attention today.
To get at it, let me ask you a question. What does it mean to be a friend? How do we do friendship? Moreover, what does it mean to have a close friend?
You see, at the center of today’s Gospel reading is the idea of friendship. Yes, Jesus starts by talking about love, the agape kind of love we talked about last week. Namely the love of God that seeks and serves Christ in all persons. A love that supports and enables the dignity of every human being.
But then he goes into a short discourse on friendship. Jesus calls his followers his friends and teaches them about the ultimate expression of friendship. He tells them that they are no longer servants, but friends, because they know what he is doing. He acknowledges them as peers rather than subordinates. He marks their relationship with a sense of intimacy and mutuality. They have been through 3 years with him and the have moved from students and followers to being friends. In short, their relationship has changed, it has been transformed.
He then doubles down on that by saying that we can have no greater love than to lay down our lives for our friends. Now clearly he is foreshadowing his own sacrifice. On one level we are to recognize that Jesus expresses his divine love for us by offering up his life through the cross. He points to the gift that he will offer to us made real in the resurrection. But I don’t think he is just talking about himself.
Why? Because to start with he tells them that they are to love one another. And this is not simply affection for one another, but the kind of love he has expressed to them. The deep and abiding love of God. He is calling them to make a significant commitment to one another. He is calling them to be more than acquaintances or casual friends. He is calling them to a sacrificial love.
But he doesn’t stop there. He goes on to let them know that his friendship with them was a choice on his part. That he chose them and chose to relate to them in this way intentionally. In other words, he befriended them long before he said these words.
By saying all of this, he is unlocking one of the deep mysteries of our life in God. Namely that God has befriended us and that we are being invited to befriend God.
And how do we do that? By loving one another as Jesus loves us.
We are being called to become God’s friend. God has already chosen to become our friend, but now we have a choice over whether or not we will reciprocate the relationship.
That’s a hard teaching for us today. As much as we all desire to have friends and not be alone, we live in a culture that creates isolation and loneliness. We live in a society that claims to value friendship but does little to encourage it. In fact, I might argue that we live in a time and culture that encourages us to consider affiliation and casual connection as friendship. Or worse, calls us to think of any kind of deeper friendship only in terms of “what’s in it for me.”
But the deep truth of friendship, however, is that real friendship, the kind of friendship Jesus points to, only comes when we stop thinking of ourselves and instead think of the other. It only comes when we choose to share ourselves and our lives with another in a way that makes demands of us rather than simply provides us with something. Real friendship doesn’t just give us something, but creates an opportunity for us to give in return.
We are made for such deep connection. It was the deep connection that Jesus made with his disciples that led them to recognize who he truly is. It was the deep connection that Jesus made with his disciples that ultimately transformed them into people who became agents of transformation in the lives of others.
And ultimately, the transformation that is being offered to us is nothing less than the hope of resurrection. It is through deep connection that resurrection is made real in our lives, both through our own sacrifices and the sacrifices of others. We are being called to lay down our lives for one another, both metaphorically and literally. And while we will likely not have to physically die for one another, we need to be prepared to do so for the sake of our relationship with God.
It was the willingness of early Christians to do this very thing that made them stand out against the culture in which they found themselves. It was their sacrificial love and deep compassion for one another and for those in need that made their message of the Good News compelling to those who observed and heard them.
How might we practice such intimacy in the context of this community? That is the question I would ask this day. How will we strengthen the bonds of friendship with one another and not simply be people who greet one another on a Sunday morning and offer warm fellowship at coffee hour?
We are being called to practice a deeper and more demanding kind of faith. We are being called to love one another as Christ loves us. This is not merely a suggestion but, as Jesus says in today’s Gospel passage, a commandment. We are being called to be friends in the deepest and truest sense of that word.
To start, let each of us claim a single relationship in this community and go deeper. Let us build intimacy by being vulnerable with another. Let us offer ourselves and our lives fully, risking our sense of safety, to love as Jesus loved. Let us be not afraid to be changed/transformed by the connection that we might make. And let us be patient for that transformation, knowing that like with Jesus and his disciples it will take time, it will be a process.
And if you are already doing that, then expand your circle and make another friend.
Whether we are just beginning or deepening the journey, doing so will transform us and our community of faith. Doing so will make real the resurrection in our lives. Doing so will do nothing less, than make us friends of God.